Chapter 5: Girls Night Out
Usually, Mae and Kristel meet at Denny’s on a Saturday morning for breakfast where they cuss and discuss the world and all its antics. This weekend, though, they decided to wait until Saturday night, that a movie would be nice, then go claim their favorite table after. They agreed that they needed a girls’ night out, and settled on the late showing of “The Wedding Ringer” at the Owensboro Cinema, then supper at the Denny’s just down from the theater on Frederica Street.
“I’m here, girl!” Kristel knocked on the door then let herself in. “Let’s go see Kevin Hart and Josh Gad dance the tango.”
Kristel gave Trenton a kiss on the cheak, “Hey bubba! I’ve missed you! “
Trenton loved when Mae and Kristel hung out, he knew a marathon of Pawn Stars was in clear sight. Also, Kristel was like a sister to Trenton. They had played in orchestra at Owensboro Middle School until they were Seniors at Owensboro High school.
Mae kissed Trent goodbye. “I’ll be home before dawn,” she laughed.
“I’ll be sure to warn the rest of the world,” Trent quipped back.
“Hey. We’re mostly harmless,” Mae kissed him again on the cheek then she and Kristel climbed down the steps.
“I’ll drive. I can drop you off here on the way home,” Kristel waved Mae to her car.
“Sounds good.”
At the cinema, they purchased their tickets and a couple of Cokes and a tub of popcorn to share. They had to dodge families and kids on their way to their theater.
Kristel watched on decidedly hyperactive rug rat brushed past her leg. The bump jiggled her arm, and spilled some popcorn on the carpet. “That kid needs his meds.” She and Mae shared a laugh. “I don’t understand why they show kids’ movies this late at night. This should be the time for us big kids.”
“Maybe we could go in to see Strange Magic with them, and bump their arms when they take a drink, and not even say we’re sorry.”
“Oh hell, no.” Kristel pointed to a family going into a theater. “They’re taking those little kids to see “American Sniper.” No wonder we’ve got a bunch of juvenile delinquents running around acting like fools. They get trained from an early age.”
“Those parents’ll pay for it later, what do you want to bet?” Mae nodded. She pointed to their doors. “Let’s go see granny catch on fire.”
Mae and Kristel left the Hall of Sticky Carpets and entered the Stadium of Sticky Floors. Mae and Kristel walked up the stairs to the very top. Mae always loved watching the people’s reaction to the movie as was were watching it -probably more than the movie itself.
Half way through the movie they saw something tiny scurry into the people’s aisle in front of them. There seemed to be three of whatever it was.
“Kristel…did you jus see-“
“Yep.”
The next thing you know people were screaming and running from the movie theatre! “Mice! There’s an infestation! They’re everywhere!” Kristel and Mae looked at each other and kick up their feet up.
Mae belts out a large laugh, “Well, at least we cleared the movie theatre of all those bratty kids!”
***
It was midnight when they pulled up to Denny’s. The parking lot was about half full, and they parked around the side from the front door.
“The trailer is always better than the movie.” Mae said, and opened the door to the brightly lit foyer.
“I know that’s right! I laughed here and there at the one liners and some of the gags, but they could have just made a silent movie, and I probably would have laughed just as much.” Kristel shook her head. “But Kevin Hart can shake it. Even Josh Gad managed to look a little sexy when they were dancing.”
“It was okay, though.” Mae turned to the hostess. “Two. And can we get a half-and-half tabletop? The one that’s half booth and half table?”
“Sure,” the hostess smiled and grabbed a couple of menus. “Right this way.” She led them to their table. It sat near a corner of the dining room where they had a clear view of everything and everyone.
“Thanks,” Mae said and crawled into the booth seat against the wall.
Kristel sat across from her. “All I’m saying is I’d still buy a ticket to see a sexy many in a tuxedo grind it on the dance floor.”
“So let’s go to a male strip club, already!”
Kristel looked as if she might consider it. “We’ll do that next week,” she laughed.
The friends looked over their menus, and their waitress suddenly appeared and placed glasses of iced water in front of them. “Hi, I’m Jennifer, and I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Would you like anything to drink?”
“Sweet tea with three lemons,” said Mae.
“Me too,” said Kristel. “Mae, we’ve been coming here every Saturday now for five years. For five years you ask for three lemons with your tea. Why not one? Why not four?
Mae laughs, “I got it down to a science. Three is too many…and one and two is not enough!” She fake crosses her eye at Kristel and they both bust out laughing.
“Are you ready to order?” Jennifer, who looked young enough to still be in school, pulled out her order pad and pen. “The special is, um, just a minute. I’ll go look at the board again.”
“That’s okay. We’re ready,” Mae said. “I’ll have the Bourbon Bacon Burger. She’s in the mood for some ultimate meat.”
“Oh, I know you did not just say that,” Kristel laughed.
The waitress stood there with a blank face, oblivious to the double meaning humor.
Mae and Kristel looked at the her, waiting for any kind of response.
“Girl, you need to get out more and have some fun,” Kristel turned her eyes back to the menu. “I’m going to have… the Meat Lover’s Omelet.”
Mae and Kristel burst out laughing, but the waitress gave a weak attempt at a smile, and wrote their orders down. “I’ll be right back with your drinks.” She vanished behind a partition.
“She’s about as loose as a rusty wind-up doll,” Kristel shook her head.
“Well, after waiting on us, ‘the Jennifer’ will either be wound down or loosened up good.” Mae sipped her water.
While they waited for their food, the bar crowd started to trickle in. An especially inebriated woman with disheveled blonde hair staggered up to the hostess, and when she opened her mouth to tell her how many would be joining her, the hostess turned her head and leaned away.
Kristel watched with a grin and became more amused at the drunken display. “I bet if you squeeze her, you’ll get another quart of 151.”
“I could probably run my car on her breath alone,” Mae agreed.
“There’s three more.” The woman shouted and held up her whole hand.
The hostess smiled her practiced, plastic smile and grabbed a handful of menus and led the woman to a table near Mae and Kristel.
“Did you see that? The hostess chick didn’t even bat an eye,” Kristel said. “And that smile? She’s so fake, I bet if you look on the back of her neck, it says, ‘made in China’.”
Mae laughed with water in her mouth which almost decided to fly across the table, but she made an epic save with her napkin. “Don’t say stuff like that when I’ve got water in my mouth!”
Kristel nodded her head to the door. “There they are.”
Two people, a man and a woman, walked up to the door. The man grabbed at the door handle and missed.
Mae laughed. “Oh, this is going to be good.”
The man tried again and missed. He also leaned forward when he made the try, and fell against the door.
“That’s probably the only thing keeping him up at the moment,” Kristel chuckled under her breath.
The woman, dressed in outdated leopard print spandex pants and an oversized shirt, pulled him back, and he swayed a step back. She said something to him and he waved her to the door. She successfully grabbed the door handle and pulled. It must have opened easier than she thought it would because she staggered back with the motion of the door. The man walked in and stopped at the claw game. He pulled out his wallet while the woman walked past him, mouthing some really bad scolding words. She saw her friend at the table and made her way through the dining room, holding to a chair here, and a waitress there.
Mae watched, hypnotized by the show. “I can’t even read lips, and I know what she said.”
“You know it. He’s going to be in trouble when he sobers up, I bet.”
“Not if she doesn’t remember it,” Mae replied, and they both laughed.
The Jennifer brought their drinks. “Your food will be out shortly.” The Jennifer then turned to the table where the two sloshed women sat. “Hi, I’m Jennifer, and I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Would you like something to drink?”
The blonde shouted, “Whiskey sour, no cherry,” and guffawed loudly. She slapped her friend’s arm, and her friend wobbled sideways.
The Jennifer stood with her pad and pen at the ready. She put the pen to the paper then put her head up again. “I don’t think we have that. I’ll go check. Be right back.”
The drunk women leaned in toward each other and bumped heads, loudly. They held their foreheads in pain, but continued to laugh louder.
The Jennifer returned and said, “I’m sorry, but we don’t have that on our drink list. We have, um, coffee, tea, juice, and, um…”
“Give’m coffee!” Kristel said loudly enough for The Jennifer to hear.
The Jennifer looked at Kristel, and her eyes widened a little as if she understood what was going on, nodded and started writing on her pad.
“Oh jeez, she’s writing it down!” Kristel and Mae both turned a little more to get a better view.
“I’m going to stand at the door and charge admission for this,” Mae said.
“Yeah!” Kristel said. “We’d make up for how much we spent at the movies!”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“Nah, but this is better.”
Leopard Spandex grabbed The Jennifer’s hand, the one that was writing on the pad, and the pen made a long, dark line across the page.
“Hey,” The Jennifer pulled her hand away. “I get in trouble if the numbers on the pad don’t match up with what I turn in, and I can’t skip numbers.”
Blondie and Leopard Spandex both blurted out, “Fuck the coffee.”
“Okay, okay,” The Jennifer said, “What would you like to drink? And it needs to be something we have.”
“Strawberry Mango Pucker,” said Blondie.
“Chocolate milk,” said Leopard Spandex.
Kristel turned to Mae. “What kind of odds do you think we’ve got that someone will be puking soon?”
“Ugh, we’re about to eat, and you give me that mental image!”
“I ain’t giving you anything. Those two are giving us everything.”
“Where’s the guy?” Mae craned her neck over the diners and saw him still playing at the claw machine. “Oh dear lord, he’s still at the game. Maybe he fell asleep standing up.”
The Jennifer brought their plates. “Please enjoy your meal.”
“We’re enjoying the floor show more,” Kristel said.
The Jennifer, again, stood still as if trying to figure out what language Kristel was speaking.
“Never mind,” Kristel said. “Thank you,” she said slowly, loudly, and clearly. “We. Will. Be. Fine. It’s. All. O. Kay.”
“Oh, okay,” The Jennifer smiled happily. “Let me know if you need anything else.”
They ate and watched more drunks come in.
“Saturday night at Denny’s,” said Mae.
“Only in Owensboro,” said Kristel.
“Doubt it this time,” said Mae, and she took a huge bite of her burger.
They watched The Jennifer take Blondie’s and Leopard Spandex’s order, and were surprised that they all got it right on the first try.
About the time that they finished their meal, the man at the claw machine finally entered the dining room and joined the women. Blondie high-fived him, but Leopard Spandex slapped him.
“Looks like The Claw ain’t getting any tonight!” Mae laughed.
“Not with what she said to him earlier,” Kristel commented. “He’ll be lucky if he even gets to sleep in the same house.”
The Jennifer brought the bill, and the girls rose to leave. The Jennifer also dropped the bill with Leopard Spandex and Blondie. Spandex handed the bill to The Claw who pulled out his wallet and showed her an empty money slot.
Kristel and Mae sat back down to see the rest of the show.
Leopard Spandex turned to Blondie who had a big bite of eggs and hash browns hanging from her mouth and tried to tell Spandex that no, she didn’t have enough to cover their bill.
Leopard Spandex stood up and began yelling at The Claw who shrank into his chair. He pointed to the claw machine, and began to yell back.
“I just wanted to do something nice for you and get you a nice present, and you’re an ungrateful bitch!”
“You alcoholic, stupid, limp-dick! Can’t even hold a dollar!”
The manager handled it by removing the entire group from the dining room to a vacant semi-private supper room, and calling the cops.
“Ready to go?” Mae asked Kristel.
“Oh yeah. It’s almost time for the puking to begin.” Kristel elbowed Mae, and they headed to the cashier.
They stood at the cashier’s station, waiting for someone to take their money, and Blondie rushed past them into the bathroom. The sound of retching followed.
“Told you,” Kristel said.
Mae said, “You called it!”
“I had my money on Leopard Spandex though. Drinking chocolate milk on top of booze? Not too sure about that.” Kristel handed her cash to the flustered manager behind the counter.
“How was your meal?”
Mae and Kristel looked at each other, then at the manager, and burst out laughing.
***
Mae walked into her home, and found Trenton sleeping on the couch. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
He woke up and asked, “How was your girls’ night out?”
Mae grinned. “It was a great, big heaping plate of an Owensboro Saturday night. Tell you all about it in the morning.”
Mae waved to her friend pulling out of the driveway, and Kristel waved back. “Right now, I want to let you know how much I appreciate you.”
“What’s all that about?”
“Let’s just say that I’m glad your nickname isn’t ‘The Claw’.” She laughed and led Trenton to the bedroom and yawned. “Love you, baby.” They crawled into bed and cuddled.
“Love you too.” Trenton kissed Mae’s forehead and she was asleep before his lips even left her. He sighed. “See you in the morning, then.” He chuckled and turned out the light.
My Life As Maegan Hagan 