My Complaint With Walmart

Dear Walmart,

I would like to lodge a formal complaint. Today I went to look at Christmas underwear with my friend Lexi. I was surprised that you have a decent collection of cute Christmas underwear! Some have reindeers on them, some are green ruffles, some have santa suspenders-the list goes on and on. What was more surprising was where you had them located.

They were located right next to the check out!

If I’m going to look through a bin of underwear, (which I promise is an entirely new low for me!) I would prefer to do it tucked away nicely in the back where the rest of the underwear is.  I don’t like having a  group of teenage boys leering at me while I am doing so!

I live in a small town too! In the time it took for me to pick out a pair, (ten minutes!) I ran into my boss, my preacher, and half of my coworkers! Now, every time I’m in church my preacher is going to look at me and think of a giant reindeer on my ass!

Let me cue you in on a secret, underwear is a sacred thing. The right pair can give you confidence you never thought you had! But, and for classier women it is something that you only want your partner to know what you are going to be wearing! Change the location, I promise that I am not the only person that felt embarrassed yesterday! I mean have you read my blog? I am not someone that embarresses easy!

Mortified Customer,

Maegan Hagan

The Vagina Monologue’s Part One

The Vagina Monologues was written by a lady named Eve Ensler. The Vagina monologues deals with several topics , touching on matters such as sex, love, rape, menstruation, female genital mutilation, masturbation, birth, orgasm, the various common names for the vagina, or simply as a physical aspect of the body. A recurring theme throughout the piece is the vagina as a tool of female empowerment, and the ultimate embodiment of individuality.

….One of my major New Years Resolution’s was to try new things, and do things that I have been putting off that I would want to do.  My body is in need of empowerment right now.

You have to understand- I’ve spent 3/4 of my life putting off my life and telling myself there will be more time.  But there never is.

I have always wanted to be in a play. So, when The Vagina Monologue’s posted that they would be holding auditions for new vagina’s, I thought,  this may be my last chance. And, it really makes the most sense for me to be a part of this production because of all of my strong beliefs about women’s rights.

I saw that auditions were going to be held at a friend from college’s house -and they were really smart the way they went about it.
They decided to split the people up from the people that normally perform and the people that are new to come to the director’s house. This was smart because I wouldn’t have gone because I was always afraid that I wasn’t going to fit in. With this opportunity the setting was more intimate and WAY less anxious.

I have been getting some not-so great blood work back from my doctor’s. It is time to be a little concerned,  but I can’t go around just thinking about it or I’ll make myself sicker.

I am going into this venture with a positive mind set I want this to be an opportunity where I can be around like minded people, be around some strong, bad ass bitches, and finally make life long friends. There is nothing more than getting through a play with a group
of people. It truly bonds you for life.
I went to Randy Howard’s house and I wad REALLY nervous at first. She invited me in and I met her friend and Co-organizer Corrina, and her husband Matt. We actually got to catch up a bit and I really loved hearing about Randy’s experience with this production.

She has been in charge of it for several years, all except for last year when she was planning her wedding. That’s truly amazing to me! I guess it’s because it’s a project I really believe in.

I remember the first time I had ever watched it. I was 15, and HBO had recorded a live version of Eve Ensler’s performance. My favorite’s have always been The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could, Reclaiming the Word Cunt, Bob, and of course Angry Vagina!

I loved hearing stories of her favorite performances of each, and who’s performances had brought her to tears.

The Vagina Monologue’s is going to be an important part of my life because I really am trying to set a good example to my nieces and it’s important to know that it’s okay that as women we can talk about rape, incest, body issues-without being ashamed. We have to be able to openly talk about these things, I want them to be able to come to me and talk to me about their problems. The Vagina Monologue’s is an extremely educated approach to several topics that we as women and young women have been taught by society that we should be ashamed of. 

The two pieces I read tonight were The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could, and Because He Liked To Look At It. I really LOVE the Little Coochie Snorcher That Could. It is supposed to be read in a southern accent. When I went to read I kept going in and out of the accent. It was actually really embarrassing! 

Because He Liked To Look at it is a really fun piece, but there is s part at the beginning that is kind of difficult to real out loud, so I’m really going to have to work on it.

She told me that she likes to wait until she has absolutely heard everyone,  but she should have a cast list by Monday.  She said that she had a few in mind for me.

It has been a really exciting experience so far, and I have been told by several people that Randy really makes it a learning experience, and I will take something away from this whole thing. I’ve heard from several people that she is an excellent director.

That’s all for now, stay tuned!

My Only Wish For Christmas

Trent has been having a REALLY hard time. Without going into details, (because the details are actually pretty gruesome and incriminating, ) Trent and I are no longer talking to his sister Dana. That is why I haven’t been writing about her in the blog. And while I love Dana very much I don’t see the situation getting better anytime soon.

The reason why we loved hanging out downstairs, other than the fact that they are family is because we don’t have kids. It’s easy to become close to your nieces and nephews when they live so close and you have disposable income and you don’t have kids of your own. And Dana is really fun too!

So, Trent and I actually avoid downstairs at all cost. It’s a weird topic so we don’t even really talk about it with each other. It happened so fast, the situation that occurred,  and it was done during a very stressful time. Everyone was really stressed about Travis’ recovery.

So, I know a few of my readers have asked about Dana and the kids and how they are doing. We learned from Trent’s Dad that Dana is going for her reversal surgery for her colostomy bag in January and I was told by the kids that they are about to go on vacation to Florida for Christmas!  So, good things are happening all around, its just unfortunate that there is so much animosity.  Especially during this time of the year. Because if you can’t ask for peace at Christmas time, then when can you?

My husband is really depressed for the first time since we lost the twins. We were watching It’s A Wonderful Life, (Trent and Mine’s FAVORITE Christmas movie!) And I had dozed off. I woke up to it still being on. Trent was in tears, “I love Dana. I’m still really mad but I don’t want her to die from the reversal surgery.”

And I actually usually know what to say to make things better. But this time I didn’t. This time I just sat there, held him, and listened while he cried.

We get to the end, the part where everyone comes in with baskets of money for George Bailey, and Trent starts crying again. “When is MY Bedford Falls going to help ME out?”

And really, its such a Universal thought to have isn’t it? When you’re in trouble and in your deepest and darkest place don’t you WANT someone to come in and cash in all of your Karma points? Don’t you want everyone to remember EVERY good deed you’ve ever done? And the sad thing is, Trent has done A LOT. It’s time for his ship to cone in.

I think right now Trent has gained a significant amount of weight, he feels he’s in a dead end job, but more importantly, he feels as if he has no family. And how do you make something better when it has gotten SO bad. Do you all have any suggestions?  I’ll take any help in this area Because I would lasso the moon for Trent.

It’s a long shot to ask for peace with his family right now, but that is my ONLY wish for Christmas.  I KNOW it’s a longshot and it would take a miracle, but, hey -Christmas is about miracles.