Category Archives: daughter

Who Is The Most Inspirational Woman You Know?

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In celebration of Women’s History Month, I am going to be holding a contest for the woman that inspires you the most! Simply comment in the section below for a woman that inspires you the most! It can be someone famous, someone alive, (this includes Aunts, mothers, and grandmothers,) or someone that is no longer with us- as long as you give a name and a reason you will be entered into the drawling. You have until midnight March 31st to get your response to me! If picked you will win a 50.00 visa gift card!

The woman that inspires me more than any other woman ever is my Grandmother, Stella Knight. Stella was the woman that raised me. She took me in when I was a baby because my Mom was sick. Stella was 67 years old when she found out I was going to be coming to live with her. She wasn’t like most Grandma’s- she didn’t like to be called Grama, Mimi, mimah- no- she liked for me to call her Stella! She was there for every scrape on my knew, for every time I asked her to make me her famous Mac n cheese, and for every time I just needed someone to listen. She was my best friend.

In our neighborhood of Evansville, Indiana, Stella developed quite the reputation for feeding homeless people if they came up to her door asking for food. I’ll never forget the time when I was nine, a young boy knocked on her door. He couldn’t have been more than 16. He put his hand behind his head bashfully, “Ma’am, I hate to trouble you, but a friend of mine said you would feed me if I asked.” Stella’s eyes widened, “You’re just a BABY!”

I watched as Stella proceeded to make the biggest steak known to man! The boys eyes widened, and he started to dig in. To this day I’ll never forget how hard he started to shake every time he went to pick up his fork. Stella pats him on the back, “Slow down honey, there’s more where that came from.” About an hour later the boy stands up and he hugs Stella letting out a long deep sob. The type of hug you can only give someone when the world has kicked the shit out of you. The type of hug a 16 year old boy shouldn’t have to give. Stella gives him a bag of sandwhiches and our number. She tells him if he ever needs anything he is always welcome in our home.

When he leaves Grandpa John comes in the room, and he is mad! “Stella, you can’t keep inviting all these homeless people in to our home!”

To which she replies with my favorite response of all time, “Oh John, shut the hell up!”

Grandpa John chuckles to himself and goes into the other room. Stella takes me by the hand and we go to kitchen table. We sit there, and there is a long pause. She proceeds to tell me that when she is nine she is living with seven brothers and sisters in California with her parent’s. Stella’s mother and father desert them one afternoon when she is 11, she is left to take care of all her brothers and sister’s by herself. “You see Maegan- we as women are unbreakable. We are fighters. It is our responsibility to make sacrifices for those around us we care about.”

I never understood what she meant until I had a family of my own years later. We would go on to lose Stella to a stroke a few years later. Several homeless people she had helped thoughout the years showed up to her funeral. They shared stories of how she changed their lives, helped them get jobs, and even find a place to live! It was a beautiful sight. Stella Knight was an amazing woman, and she is my choice for the woman that inspires me the most! Who is yours? Remember, you have until March 31st at midnight to be entered in to the drawing for a 50 dollar Visa card! Just post in the comments section about the woman that inspires you the most, and give a reason why!

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The Misadventures of My Dad’s Death, Or, How He Gave The Gift of Sight

Last year my Dad died very unexpectedly of a heart attack. It was heart breaking, he was my best friend, and we came to find out that not only did Dad die without a pot to piss in, but he had no life insurance.  I don’t talk about Dad’s death because I don’t want to think about how there was NO dignity to it at all.
 

When I think of death I kind of like thinking about it in a transcendental manner. I’d like to think of death as being Thoreau-esqu.

But dad’s death was waiting days for the hospital to determine there was no brain waves in order to pull the plug because our only neurologist was on vacation.

Dad’s death was my brother getting drunk in his hospital room and having to be escorted from the hospital by security guards.

Dad’s death was me fighting with every funeral home in town because he didn’t have life insurance and my credit is HORRIBLE! 

Dad’s death was me having to hustle together 3000.00 until they would THINK about having a four hour service for him, and agreeing to cremate him because burying next to my mom was too expensive.
And then our own paper The Messenger Inquirer didn’t get his obituary in the paper in time and practically no one knew he had even passed!

The ONLY good thing that came from my Father’s death was he was an Organ Donor.

The day before they chose to pull the plug The Kentucky Organ Donor Association came to me and told me my Father was an organ donor,  and they asked our permission to use his organs. 

If you knew my father, you know that my first response was, “Absolutely. ”

My father was a very giving man, so it was only appropriate that even in death, he chose to give.

They were wonderful!  They came to us and they said that there was a man that was going to give the gift of sight because of my father. They gave me and my brother’s a plaque for his heroism, and they said they would be in touch.

And they were! They wrote us many times in the next few weeks about their appreciation for what my dad had done, and the success of the surgery. Those next few weeks after dads death weren’t so hard because I had these wonderful letters to remind me of what an amazing man he was.

That Christmas was the hardest Christmas of my adult life. KODA, sent me an ornament to put on my tree to remind me of Dad.

So, the other night I had a dream about Dad. A lot of my dreams are with dad before he had the stroke. But the ones after he had the stroke are of me talking to a man that isn’t really my father. It’s a man that’s struggling and it reminds me of how much we struggled just to have him cremated.

So, I woke up and I took that dream with me to work. And I was having a really bad day anyways. I’m still trying to get used to my new job, and some days I still don’t know what I’m doing. So, I’m thinking about my dad, I’m having a bad day, and I get off work and the only thing I really wanted to do was call and talk to my dad. I get out of the car, get my mail, and make my way up the stairs.

I get inside, take all my clothes off and pick up the mail. I got a reminder from my doctors office reminding me of an appointment I have coming up, bills, bills, and then I pick up a letter that’s really heavy.

It was a letter from KODA with another ornament in it to remind me of Dad. I held it in my hand. It was an angel. It was then I remembered that Dad is everywhere I am. I don’t have to call and talk to him, he sends me ornaments!  I started to cry thinking about how he was such an AMAZING human being and how I can only strive to be as giving as him.

And then I just felt better.

The Kentucky Organ Donor Association is an amazing group. Please take the time and save a life! 
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My Only Wish For Christmas

Trent has been having a REALLY hard time. Without going into details, (because the details are actually pretty gruesome and incriminating, ) Trent and I are no longer talking to his sister Dana. That is why I haven’t been writing about her in the blog. And while I love Dana very much I don’t see the situation getting better anytime soon.

The reason why we loved hanging out downstairs, other than the fact that they are family is because we don’t have kids. It’s easy to become close to your nieces and nephews when they live so close and you have disposable income and you don’t have kids of your own. And Dana is really fun too!

So, Trent and I actually avoid downstairs at all cost. It’s a weird topic so we don’t even really talk about it with each other. It happened so fast, the situation that occurred,  and it was done during a very stressful time. Everyone was really stressed about Travis’ recovery.

So, I know a few of my readers have asked about Dana and the kids and how they are doing. We learned from Trent’s Dad that Dana is going for her reversal surgery for her colostomy bag in January and I was told by the kids that they are about to go on vacation to Florida for Christmas!  So, good things are happening all around, its just unfortunate that there is so much animosity.  Especially during this time of the year. Because if you can’t ask for peace at Christmas time, then when can you?

My husband is really depressed for the first time since we lost the twins. We were watching It’s A Wonderful Life, (Trent and Mine’s FAVORITE Christmas movie!) And I had dozed off. I woke up to it still being on. Trent was in tears, “I love Dana. I’m still really mad but I don’t want her to die from the reversal surgery.”

And I actually usually know what to say to make things better. But this time I didn’t. This time I just sat there, held him, and listened while he cried.

We get to the end, the part where everyone comes in with baskets of money for George Bailey, and Trent starts crying again. “When is MY Bedford Falls going to help ME out?”

And really, its such a Universal thought to have isn’t it? When you’re in trouble and in your deepest and darkest place don’t you WANT someone to come in and cash in all of your Karma points? Don’t you want everyone to remember EVERY good deed you’ve ever done? And the sad thing is, Trent has done A LOT. It’s time for his ship to cone in.

I think right now Trent has gained a significant amount of weight, he feels he’s in a dead end job, but more importantly, he feels as if he has no family. And how do you make something better when it has gotten SO bad. Do you all have any suggestions?  I’ll take any help in this area Because I would lasso the moon for Trent.

It’s a long shot to ask for peace with his family right now, but that is my ONLY wish for Christmas.  I KNOW it’s a longshot and it would take a miracle, but, hey -Christmas is about miracles.

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