Most Superheros Are

Trent’s Gift To Me

Today, I posted a picture to my Instagram account, and the picture is something that is a very personal story for me and I thought it was important to share, because when I am sick, I sometimes feel like giving up. The story behind this is I have Parkinson’s Disease and sometimes I have falling spells. Sometimes they are big. I was having a morning where everything seemed kind of off balance.

I fell when I got out of bed, and I went through our bedroom wall.

We were waiting for it to be fixed, but in the meantime, it was just THERE and it stared back at me everyday. Nagging at me. You did this! You did this!  Each this rolling off my tongue like a snake hissing at it’s prey. One day I cried out, “Why can’t someone just relieve me of my suffering?!?!? “

My husband saw me staring at it one day. The next day I saw a piece of wood over the hole. With the message that read, “When you’re truly awesome you know that it is actually a burden, and wish day after day to be relieved of such a curse. Think of about 95% of superheroes.” After seeing that I refused to get the wall fixed. The wall is symbolic of so much more than anything I could ever some up in this blog post. 

Sometimes in life you fall, and there is a mess afterwards, but you have to get the fuck back up! I have a lot of people out here watching me and rooting for me, and even some are just waiting and begging and praying I fail! I might be flawed like a mother f**ker but most superheroes are!

**Author’s Note:

If you would like to add me on Facebook please do! And my Instagram is @Live4Hope I am a great friend and I love meeting new people and hearing their story!

My Nervous Breakdown PT. 1.

I just went to the bathroom, turned the water on, and put a wash cloth in my mouth.

I screamed, I Cried,  I pleaded like my life depended on it.

I ask God to take my pain away and to make everyone around me more empathetic.

His lack of a response warrants a concern.

A Day In The Life

Update on Travis: They are feeding Travis Through his tubes and they had a proceedure done on him today to clean out any sepsis that had gotten into his body.

I went to take a nap today before I made dinner. I couldn’t sleep but I felt exhausted.  I was tossing and turning and all I could think about was work and minimum wage and how am I going to start our life off when we both are hardly working 40 hours a week and making minimum wage. We can barely make rent on our one bedroom walk up.

So, I started breathing heavier and I couldn’t imagine what would happen if heaven forbid I get sick again like I did this summer, what happens when I have medicine that I need that will keep me alive? So I’m breathing heavier and I start thinking about how Travis got sick and Dana got sick, and what if Trent gets sick? And the anniversary of Dad’s death is coming, and so I got up and I ran downstairs.

I ran down the block and I kept running until my side hurt and I found myself on a street that looked unfamiliar and I had no clue where I was so I fell on the ground crying. Long deep sobs until I could finally breathe again. I cried until I felt right again. I cried until the world stopped moving and the earth and everything around me could dance around me. And I laid there.

I picked up my cell phone and called my husband. “Hey, honey.”

“Hey!” he says.

“I went for a run and I’m kind of lost.” I start to laugh and that makes him laugh too.

“Where are you I’ll come pick you up?”

Ten minutes later Trent was there and he was smiling, “How is it you could get lost after living here for almost half of your life now?”

“I just have no sense of navigation I suppose. ” I smile and get in the car.
Trent and I get home and Trent has put up the tombstones and added pumpkins to each one.

I go into Dana’s and she’s made dinner and Jenn has gotten Snow White and the Huntsmen. Life feels right again.