Dear Trenton,
I’ll never forget the first time I met you. It was electric. Chills went up my spine and it was like gravity was pulling me to you and only you. And I walked over to you and it was like I had known you from another life.
I remember the first time we made love. I remember how sweet and special and amazing it was. You had the song, “My Love, ” by John Lennon playing on your record player and it immediately became my favorite song of all time and the reason why it became the song I walked down the aisle to, instead of Here Comes The Bride.
I remember when I went to your apartment and you knew my favorite musician was John Lennon. Which was another reason why I immediately loved you because he was also your favorite musician. You had written on a piece of paper, “Here peace bed peace,” and was to right over your bed, just like John and Yoko when they were married.
I remember when you met my dad. How wonderful you were to him and you will never fully understand how much I appreciate how good you were to him and how much you respected our relationship together.
I remember the day when I read the paper and it was in the records that we were to be married. I started crying and you asked what was wrong. I said, “I never not want to have first moments with you. This is the only time we are ever going to be in the paper for getting married! ” You started to laugh and said, “I promise that I will always give you first moments to look forward to.”
And you have.
I remember our wedding day. I remembered I was so worried that you wouldn’t think I was pretty. I remembered you looked over to me before you said your vows and whispered, “You took my breath away when you walked towards me. You are SO beautiful.” And I started to tear up.
My love for you is more important than a verse on a Valentine card. It is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in my life.
Without your love I merely exist, with your love I live.
My love for you is a promise that will always be kept, a fortune that will never be spent, and a seed that could grow in the most unlikely of places.
love cannot be found by looking for it, or passionately wishing for it. When I showed up that night at that bar and I looked across the room at you and when gravity pulled me close to you, it was not because I was looking for you. It was not because I had wished you. It was divine destiny.
I love that there is no job, amount of money, or materialism that ties me to this earth, but you do. You always do.
My vows to you 5 years ago were
1. Ill never be to old to hold your hands
2. Remembering to say I love you at least once a day
3. Never go to sleep angry
4. To form a circle of live that gather in our whole family
5. Never take you for granted
6. Doing something for you not because I HAVE to, but because I WANT to.
My vows to YOU, are now more important than ever.
I had no idea how hard marriage was going to be! I have to be a pseudo lady in the street, and a freak in the sheets, I have to hold my tongue sometimes when I AM JUST DYING, to give someone a piece of my mind that I feel is screwing us over, I have to cook, clean, and work a job I hate to also make sure we have a place to live.
I know you appreciate this everyday. You show me by the flowers you bring home, or slushied, or the begrudging foot rubs you give me, or fighting with a doctor. Not because you want to but because you’re worried about me.
I know I haven’t been able to give you everything you want yet. But I will give you everything your heart desires, and we both know what that is.
My promises to you:
1. Calm the fuck down It always works out in the end.
2. Clean up more
3. Cook more
4. Try and stick to something instead of giving up when it gets hard
5. Get along with everyone even when my heart tells me I’m right
6. try not to nag as much
7. To let you wind down when you get home for work more
8. To not be discouraged, we always get through it.
I love you Mr. Hagan. Yes the road has been hard. Yes, opportunities have been lost, but we will always get through it because the love we have for each other is so much stronger than any bullshit that could EVER be thrown our way.
The next five years are going to be great! We are going to get established, there will be children on the way, and health is going to be great! Because I said so and as you know I’m ALWAYS right!
Your one and only love of a life,
Maegan Marie Hagan
PS They really did give me A LOT of crackers! 😛
My Life As Maegan Hagan 