Happy Fathers Day! Thank you for looking out for me so many times this year. When I thought that I didn’t have anything left to give I would remember the nights where you had come from working there ten hour shifts and would just be exhausted and then still have time to help me with my homework, or take me to swim team practice, or take me to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling well.
I miss you everyday. I feel like a piece is missing and I’m not whole and I know you wouldn’t want me to – but I do. I miss your humor, “Shut up! I’m so sick of hearing about Lady Gaga! ”
I miss our late night talks on the phone! I miss hearing about Amercian Idol! I miss having my news buddy!
I am taking things a little more serious lately. I know the things that bothered the last year of your life that had to do with me had a lot to do with me keeping a job. Even one of our last conversations had to do with me being happy. I remember you seemed concerned that Trent or I haden’t found our groove yet, and it bothered you that I hadent found a job that really fit us or had babies?
I know you took the last miscarriage I had pretty hard because you wanted to be around for the birth. I wanted you to be around for the birth. I want to believe that I’m supposed to be a mother, but at the same time I wonder if I would just be a total mess. I’ve been waiting but lately I’ve been dreaming about babies A LOT! And they are happy dreams 🙂
More importantly I work at KMart still. (BTW PROPS! FIRST TIME IVE HELD A JOB FOR A YEAR WITHOUT GETTING BORED!)
I have had a lot of set backs, but more importantly I’ve done a lot of things this year that I know you always wanted to do. I got to go see the place where MLK Jr. Was assassinated and I KNOW you would’ve loved it. It was a super powerful experience and I just thought of all the things in your life you gave up for us to have children.
I miss you and I want you to know that I am very happy with my husband and my life. I hope to have better news by October, but the mean time know I love you and everything I do is because of you. You were the best dad I could’ve ever asked for and I wish I could have you back, but I will see you later and it’s going to be awesome.
And I promise I’m going to make you proud. I swear. And I’m gonna try and keep crazy bones Sheena in line :-p I love you Dennis Knight